Mr. Waldo
World renowned smarty-pants

         You might ask what is a cat doing on a dog's website? Mr. Waldo is a recluse who never leaves his house and who often tells tall tails about having a lackey & body servant at his disposal.

         "I hope that you don't mind a question from a human person. I thought that with your superior instincts and brilliant insight into the minds of dogs that you were the cat to turn to. This is my problem: We had a dog guest in our house last night. He was a very large, male black lab. My girls (a Collie named Dana and a Sheltie named Minnie) barked at him the entire time that he was here. We had to kick Minnie and Dana outside because they wouldn't leave him alone. Dana barked in his face and Minnie barked from behind Dana where she knew she would be safe. You can imagine what this sounded like and it was kind of embarrassing. He was quiet and submissive, but I guess Dana just couldn't stand having such a large dog in her home. She gets along fine with little dogs, but this was just too much for her. My son keeps yelling at me for not training Dana properly. What should I do?" - Flash

         Dear Flash, I am just tickled pink to get a question from a human person, because although they need the MOST advice, they mostly think it is foolish to discuss their lives with a CAT. My human lackey, typist and body servant told me about your problem with the Lab visitor, and it interests me because I have actually met one of the dogs involved (the lovely and unusually quiet for her breed), Minnie. We of course have to hold the Dana dog responsible for most of the ruckus, because we are pretty sure that Minnie would not challenge a visitor, no matter the size or gender, and Dana is a young dog, lacking experience. Minnie hiding behind Dana was likely a show of support and sisterhood. Minnie should really try to be more of a leader and mentor for Dana, but because she came in to your home as the puppy to an older dog, who was a pretty good mentor, she is apparently clueless. What I am not clear on is if your dogs have ever had many dog visitors. It does not count if they have been OK with other dogs on either neutral turf, or on the turf of the other dogs. If they perceive a visitor on their personal territory to be very unusual, they might interpret it as a threat, or might simply be vocalizing their wish for the visitor dog to leave, or letting the visitor know in dog parlance, that he is NOTHING, and that if he plans to hang around, he'd best get used to being NOTHING. Another factor is that Minnie and Dana have many genes in common, and look similar to each other. A large Lab could seem very alien to them. The Lab, to his credit took the obsequious stance, which is the best for any male dog faced with a couple of territorial bitches. His survival skills seem very sound, which is a good thing because he certainly no rocket scientist if he is anything at all like the rest of his breed. In fact, come to think of it, it is possible that your girls might simply have been mocking him for being such a big old goofus. I think that Dana needs socialization. Tell your son that there is no way that you could have foreseen this reaction of Dana's, and that training has nothing to do with it. If anything, Minnie should have taught Dana more dog wisdom and not just jumped on the barky bandwagon. HOWEVER, if your son wishes to be spared certain embarrassment if another visitor dog comes to your house in the future (possibly the dog of some girl he is hoping to impress), he should help Dana out by arranging for her to have a few (large breed) visitors under controlled circumstances, and not during times when you are trying to entertain human guests. Putting both dogs outside was the right thing, but it would have been interesting if you had just put Dana outside and seen if Minnie could compose herself. I think that a few short visits from other dogs, first outside the house give the dogs a chance to buttsniff (disgusting custom if you ask me) and then bringing them inside will help. See what happens. If it is a disaster, Dana should sign up for a few basic obedience classes and learn how to greet and meet other dogs and people. Your son should be her handler, he can write a paper on training and basic behavior modification for extra credit at school, and might meet some cool new friends. Let me know how you make out. My regards to Minnie, and tell her I said to shape up! She is the senior dog now and has more responsibility than before. She must take charge where Dana is concerned. -The fabulous and wise Mr. Waldo